My heart....

This is the first time I'm really putting what's been on my heart out there. I've shared bits and pieces of it with friends and family and almost always gotten non-encouraging responses of how crazy I am and that I should probably pray about it more because that certainly couldn't be God. I won't argue with the fact that I should keep praying, and trust me, praying I've been and will continue to do! But here it goes. My heart is breaking. My heart is breaking for orphans around the world. Specifically it's breaking for orphans in Ethiopia. I don't know why this is. I've never been to Ethiopia. But I long to be there. I long to hold the babies and children living without families. I long to love them and show them the love of Christ. I don't know what this means. I don't know if this longing and desire is from God or if it's just an emotion from knowing people that are adopting from there. I read the blogs of families that are in the process of adopting from Ethiopia and those who have recently picked their sweet children up to bring home and all I can do is cry. Cry tears of hope for those still there and cry tears of joy for the ones brought home. All I know is my heart is breaking more and more and my love for children I've never met, children that may not have even been born yet, is growing more and more each day. I long to call these precious children my own. But as a single 22 year old woman, I realize that won't happen anytime soon, and that also breaks my heart. Why is this desire there when it can't be fulfilled anytime soon? I'm not sure what it all means. I'm not sure what's God's desire for me and part of His plan and what's my own desire getting in the way of His plans. For now I will continue to pray for Ethiopia, for all the precious children there, for this desire and for God's will through it all. Please pray for clarity, peace, and patience for me as I continue to seek God on this struggle of my heart.
Love,
Jenna